Degrassi: Cam's death
by ICrzy
Summary: This is how I pictured the thoughts of Cam's death from many of the characters...


**YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW HOW CAM DIED SO I JUST MADE A GUESS... I DON'T OWN DEGRASSI...**

Cam POV

I just can't stand it. Zig calling me a psycho, and also getting screamed at by Dallas. It-It's too much for me. I can't stand this depression and sadness built up inside of me. I am always sad, always upset. Why? Why am I suffering so much? If only someone would understand. But I cannot bother Maya, she has her cello stuff to worry about. I cannot talk to my mom about it, because she'll just tell me I am just missing her and my siblings. I decided to sneak out of the Clarkson family home to escape this madness. I am tried of crying, I am tried of feeling pain. I just want to go to sleep forever, no more worries no more stress. Mostly no more Dallas. I somehow found myself all the way at Degrassi, this place. This is the place where I thought was suppose to give people another chance, but every time I try to get another chance it gets ruin. It's all Zig's fault.

Trying to take Maya away from me. She loves me not that crazy girlfriend stealer. Or is he right? I walked into the greenhouse and sat down. I just looked at my hands, then heard my phone go off. Maya continuing texting me and calling, she shouldn't be worrying about me. She has her cello, she has her life. I just realized, maybe Zig is right. That I am a psycho and I should be away from Maya to protect her. That's it, that's it. I-I am not worth living on this earth. I will only cause pain and sorrow to people I try to keep close, I-I cannot do this anymore. I-I should just die!

Eli POV

Clare is mad at me, but after pleading I am just confused when I am in crazy love as I am with her. She forgave me, but also said she is crazy in love with me too. Before we went to eat breakfast I saw something in the greenhouse, then noticing who it was I dropped the coffee and food. Clare looked worried and I turned her away, telling her to call the police and find a teacher. She ran off, I just stayed there. It was Campbell Saunders, that kid on the hockey team. Or is it? I couldn't really tell by the way the blood pool looked around his lifeless body. I walked close enough toward him and saw a gun laying next to his body, I rubbed my hands through my hair. I-I cannot this is happening? Why here, why now? Cam, why kill yourself?

Maya POV

No, No! Cam isn't dead! He can't be, he wouldn't do that? I just wanted to be with my cello and practice. I just can't handle what is going on. This seriously is not happening. No no! Cam is going to walk through that door any minute, I don't care what Principal Simpson says. Cam would never kill himself, would he? I-I don't think Cam was that upset about his life. Why would he go into far extremes like that? For attention? I am floating around with questions and not enough answers. Why would you do it Cam? I turned to my backpack seeing my little owl poke out, Hoot. Cam kidnapped you yesterday. When yesterday seemed like the greatest night ever. Oh Cam, did Zig really make you jealous enough to take your life? I should have been there, I should have been that caring girlfriend. This shouldn't have happened.

Dallas POV

This is all my fault! Damn it! I shouldn't have been a jerk! I shouldn't have been an ass! I should have been a friend but instead I caused him to kill himself! But it wasn't just me, it was also Ali. She knew he was upset but ignored it like everyone else. I shouldn't have ragged him for being new, I shouldn't have picked on him for being a bit different. He was just new at all of this. I should have been nicer, been kinder. I shoulder have been too rough, too angry, to loud. I-It's all my fault. Cam, is dead and it's all my fault. I might as well die too for causing a human being to take his life. It should be me dead and not Cam, he was a good kid and I am a bastard. A screw up, a waste of space, a jerk, an ass. I really screwed up, how can I ever play hockey again knowing the fact that I caused Cam to kill himself, I don't know what the hell to do anymore. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't I haven realized what I've said to Cam cause him into depression? I-I cannot look at myself in the mirror cause all I see is Cam's face. Him crying the day that Simpson suspended him. It's all my fault, I cannot believe I caused this.

Zig POV

I knew the guy was a psycho but-but I didn't believe he would do something like this. I mean, I just thought he would cry in his room or better yet just try to hit me again. But killing himself, that's dark. Maya, she is just all out of whack because of this. Cam, believing this is protecting her. Hell, you just caused her to be a train wreak and the rest of the school. Want pity? Want attention? Well I don't buy it! But yet, it shouldn't have happened. Eli finding you're body, Maya and Katie finding out then the hockey team. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I am the reason Cam did it. If I didn't make the comment of him being a psycho, he'd probably be alive. But if he was feeling that way, why didn't he go get help? Did he think no one would listen? Did he think anyone would care? Maya would have cared!

Or was it that you were just trying to protect Maya by not letting you in. By not letting her know you were really so upset and broken? Cam, you should have talked to someone. Simpson would have listened, your mom would have. Why did you have to go this far to get your point that you were upset and in pain. This is insane! Why did this have to happen! Poor Maya, poor everyone. I-I may have not liked you Cam, but you were a fool by doing this. Killing yourself, its just selfish in the fact you didn't bother thinking about anyone's feelings but yourself. But then again, even though I am so angry at you. I feel so guilty, this shouldn't have happened ever.

**THIS EPISODE OF DEGRASSI HIT ME HARD BECAUSE THIS YEAR A FRIEND OF MINE COMMITTED SUICIDE, AND I JUST UPSET. WHEN I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I CRIED LITERALLY FOR A HOUR BECAUSE HOW MUCH IT HIT ME. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE BUT THIS IS HOW I THOUGHT THE THOUGHTS OF THEM WOULD BE. **


End file.
